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I haven't always been self-conscious about my weight. I have always been self-conscious about my body, however. I never changed with the other girls in the gym changerooms, I always hid in a bathroom. I was never comfortable in a swimsuit, cause I was afraid I looked ugly.

I was always teased as a child. From the first grade on (except 8th and 9th) I was called a huge assortment of names and that did quite the number on my self-esteem.

I've recently self-diagnosed myself as anorexic, meaning I haven't been checked over by a doctor, so I suppose it's not technically a diagnosis. At the moment, I'm in my fourth or so bout of recovery, and I think that this one will finally be it. I'm still getting used to eating more, however. I get full really easily, and if I choose to ignore the fullness, I feel sick afterwards, like I'm going to bust.

This has more been a personal journal more than anything else, but I'll try to get some more disordered related topics going. Out of respect for myself, however, none of the content that appears after my chosen recovery will be anything pro-ana/mia. It will all be focused toward recovery.

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